How do you cope when a situation in your life just keeps going wrong, seemingly no matter what you do?
Admittedly, I am not the best at dealing with setbacks. I’ve always been a very emotional person, and I have occasional bouts of unhealthy (and unaddressed) anxiety and depression.
Buying a house has proven to be a giant roller coaster of emotion. This week I was so sure we were through the worst of it, but we’ve hit a new, and really massive, roadblock. It’s been so incredibly frustrating to climb over obstacles, and then have our good vibes killed by another obstruction. We can see the finish line of closing ahead, but we’re trapped again by more bullshit.
And it’s exhausting. It’s really tough to imagine your life in this new house– start planning out your furniture, paint colors, and layout (not to mention dreaming of Christmas decorations, dinner parties, and raising a family there)– only to see that dream dangling precariously by a thread.
And, for me, the hardest part is not knowing how to proceed. Should we keep pushing, with all of our might, to try to get this house by any means possible? Or, should I start arranging a new plan that could be wonderful, if we just made it happen? If it were really over, I could grieve and move forward. But it’s not decided yet. We still have more pushing and more waiting to do.
Honestly, I really just want to stay in bed, watch movies, and pretend like we’re not on the precipice of such a large decision. The only thing that has pulled me a bit out of my funk is looking at my board of quotes and inspiration. Two quotes with very similar messages have reminded me that I really am lucky, and all of the important things in my life are still intact.
“Amor Fati – ‘love your fate,’ which is in fact your life” – Friedrich Nietzsche
“Be in love with your life, every detail of it.” – Jack Kerouac
I’ve always had the luck. Now I just need the peace.